How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

"How many can you afford?" It only takes one to change your bulb...to his. Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!" Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice. Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company. Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers. Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, lawyers only screw us.